Today's My Due Date...

...and I am sitting here holding my 7 week old son!  I thank God everyday for my beautiful boy, but I have missed being pregnant.  I have missed feeling those kicks and being able to keep him all to myself.  I have missed absently rubbing my "baby bump" and smiling at the thought of who was growing inside of me.  I can't believe it's been almost 11 weeks since my water broke and I felt terrified.  I can't believe it has been over 7 weeks since D came barreling into this world and I felt relieved.  And I can't believe it has been exactly one month since we brought him home and I felt complete.

As a preemie D's milestones will be measured based on his due date, not his birthday.  So, today is exciting because he is no longer in the negative, so to speak.  He has already changed so much and I am excited to see how much he will continue to change in the coming weeks.  A week ago he weighed 7lbs 7oz, so I am assuming he is pushing 8lbs now.  As of Christmas he measured 20in!  He is taking almost 3oz (80 mL to be exact) per feeding (compared to 36 mL when he was in the NICU).  He is actually staying awake in between feedings.  He is very observant.  He loves the Christmas tree lights and his play mat.  He digs his paci (as does Rusty, who we are constantly wrestling pacis from).  He is a content little man.  He enjoys being held, but he is also happy to lounge in his boppy or hang out in his bouncy chair.  He's not the biggest fan of baths, but he has to take them.  Sometimes because he pees on himself and sometimes because mommy likes the smell of clean baby!  He has crazy hair and chubby cheeks and he is perfect.

I hope that we have now reached my due date I can put some of my lingering sadness about missing out on pregnancy to rest.  I have so much to be thankful for and as hard and disappointing as my pregnancy was the end result was amazing!

For those who care enough to still check out this blog, I apologize for not posting regularly now that D is home.  But, I am making a commitment to post every Sunday evening.  That way I can post some of the pictures from the week and updates on D.

Just hanging out on his Boppy

Relaxing in his bouncy chair

Opening presents is exhausting

Our little family

The cutest bum in town

He may not have a neck, but he does have several chins

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Well, I meant to post this yesterday, but time has a way of getting away from me.  So, let's just pretend it is yesterday.

One month ago I spent most of the day crying.  First, I was crying because I was so darn uncomfortable.  I was dead tired but I couldn't sleep because I was in pain.  Then, I was crying tears of frustration because no one believed I was having contractions because they weren't showing up on the monitor.  Then, I was crying tears of anger because I was not very happy with my nurse.  Then, the scared tears started.  These went on for awhile.  I wasn't scared to be going into labor, I was scared to be going into labor at 32 weeks and 5 days.  I was scared my son wasn't strong enough to come into this world.  I was scared I wasn't strong enough to take care of him yet.  I was just scared.  Labor went quick and then I heard D cry and a whole different set of tears started.   Tears of relief that my son was okay, tears of joy that I had just brought a perfect baby into this world and tears of love - a type of love I didn't even know was possible until that day.  One month ago our lives changed forever, for the better!

I have cried many times since then.  I cried everytime I had to leave D.  I cried the first time he nursed.  I cried when he had brady episodes.  I cried when he came home.  I still cry when I think of everything that has happened since that night my water broke.  But, I also smile a lot.  Everytime I look at D's chubby cheeks I smile.  Everytime he pees on himself I smile.  Everytime I talk about him I smile.  I am smiling as I type this.  This past month has been the toughest, most wonderful month of my life and I look forward to every month after this one.

Dominic is continuing to grow!  I took him to the doctor for his Hep B vaccine (we both shed a few tears) on Tuesday and he weighed 6 lbs.  He is starting to stay awake more and "talk" more.  We are working on getting into our new routine and learning new things about our little man everyday!

Holidays, RSV, Family and Friends...Oh My!

As a preemie Dominic's immune system is not as strong as term babies.  During the winter months RSV is passed around like crazy.  In adults it manifests itself like a typical winter cold.  Even term babies show typical cold symptoms.  But, it can be much more serious for preemies.  Luckily, D was almost 33 weeks when he was born, so his risk isn't quite as high as some preemies born earlier, but we still have to be cautious.  So, we have a giant bottle of hand sanitizer by the front door.  We aren't letting kids come visit the house.  We are only letting grandparents hold him and we have to be annoying and ask everyone if they are feeling sick before they come visit.  We won't be taking D out to busy places (i.e., the store on a Saturday afternoon).  It may not sound like much, but it is tough and it bums me out sometimes.  I am proud of my son and I think he may be the cutest baby ever (so what if I am biased!), so of course I want to take him out and show him off.  But instead, when we do go out, we go when places are the least busy, we leave him covered and we shy away if we see someone approaching.  I want my friends to come visit and be able to cuddle with him, but instead, we hold him while we have visitors and allow them to just look at him.  I want my friends with kids to come visit, but it's hard when we say no children.  I want to go up and celebrate the holidays with my friends and family, but it's just not feasible until D is stronger.

We are hoping our insurance approves the Synagis shot for D, which acts as somewhat of an RSV vaccination.  However, like everything with insurance, we are getting the runaround!  D's neonatologist has said his risk for RSV is low, so if we aren't approved, it's not a big deal.  D's pediatrician has said it's important we do leave the house sometimes.  We just need to go during less busy times.  Several of D's nurses told us numerous times that we should welcome visitors, we just need to be aware.  So, we are trying to take everyone's advice.  We will go out to dinner on a Monday evening, we won't meltdown if D isn't approved for the Synagis shot and we will welcome our friends and family into our home and share our little miracle with them!

Now that we're home we don't get to weigh D every night, but at his pediatrician appointment this week he weighed 5 1/2 lbs!  He is still very sleepy and we have to wake him up for most feedings, but he is staying awake more often.  I can't believe I already had to pack up all of his preemie clothes...but, he has some pretty cute newborn clothes!!

Dominic and his puppy dog