A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Well, I meant to post this yesterday, but time has a way of getting away from me.  So, let's just pretend it is yesterday.

One month ago I spent most of the day crying.  First, I was crying because I was so darn uncomfortable.  I was dead tired but I couldn't sleep because I was in pain.  Then, I was crying tears of frustration because no one believed I was having contractions because they weren't showing up on the monitor.  Then, I was crying tears of anger because I was not very happy with my nurse.  Then, the scared tears started.  These went on for awhile.  I wasn't scared to be going into labor, I was scared to be going into labor at 32 weeks and 5 days.  I was scared my son wasn't strong enough to come into this world.  I was scared I wasn't strong enough to take care of him yet.  I was just scared.  Labor went quick and then I heard D cry and a whole different set of tears started.   Tears of relief that my son was okay, tears of joy that I had just brought a perfect baby into this world and tears of love - a type of love I didn't even know was possible until that day.  One month ago our lives changed forever, for the better!

I have cried many times since then.  I cried everytime I had to leave D.  I cried the first time he nursed.  I cried when he had brady episodes.  I cried when he came home.  I still cry when I think of everything that has happened since that night my water broke.  But, I also smile a lot.  Everytime I look at D's chubby cheeks I smile.  Everytime he pees on himself I smile.  Everytime I talk about him I smile.  I am smiling as I type this.  This past month has been the toughest, most wonderful month of my life and I look forward to every month after this one.

Dominic is continuing to grow!  I took him to the doctor for his Hep B vaccine (we both shed a few tears) on Tuesday and he weighed 6 lbs.  He is starting to stay awake more and "talk" more.  We are working on getting into our new routine and learning new things about our little man everyday!